Brilliant

It's a beautiful day! About to go hit the gym, but before I do, I just wanted to share some of my thoughts.

It's hard when things start to come to an end, and we see this finality coming and want to avoid it. For me, the semester coming to an end marks a farewell to some of the most wonderful people I have ever met. But if we take the opportunity that is presented to us, with God we can use these times to re-evaluate and see how far we have come.

For me personally, I have come incredibly far in the past year. My life has turned 360 degrees. I am so in love with the Lord and with life, in a way I never thought I would be. This morning for the first time, I used the gift of prophecy intentionally to speak over a close friend, and was just so incredibly blessed that God used me to speak to her in that way. It is the most incredible feeling there is, just to hear God speaking over someone and feel His love for them radiate through you. Of course it's not my place to even hint at what the Lord had to say to her, but I am so incredibly blessed that God is willing to use someone as sinful as me to bring light to others. 

I'm fighting hard to be a better person, and I think that my feeling inferior to other believers is something that I can overcome with the help of the Lord. I am not a "holy" person. But the truth is, not one of us truly is and the Lord is willing to use every one of us to complete His plan and His vision.

I'm looking forward to getting more involved with the CU, and pray that even after my dear friends leave me I would not be afraid to go alone and make some new friends. God has been using the people around me to drag me kicking and screaming out of my comfort zone recently, and scary as it is at the time, long may it continue. I have experienced so much that I would never have seen sitting alone in my room. 

At the risk of rambling, I'll leave it there for today, but just know how loved you are. Life is good. God is brilliant.

Fear

Really got a lot from today's devotional's snippet on faith in the face of fear- it seems particularly relevant in the wake of the disasters in America and world wide last week. It can be so hard to admit that we feel afraid, and this is a great encouragement, pointing out to us that we do not achieve anything by denying fear, instead we must accept it and conquer it through faith in the one for whom nothing is impossible.

Personally, feeling pretty good- we had a great event on Sat evening called Encounter, for young adults, in Stirling. Really felt God moving for the first time in a long time (def the first time since the doc put me on the pills- a huge relief!), and felt really encouraged to embrace God's gifts- both spiritual and practical- stop hiding the light beneath a bushel kind of thing. 

Had some challenging words from a good friend r.e. gossiping an falseness- hard to hear the truth sometimes! But thankfully spoken in love and avoided an argument over it- hard to accept when someone is right in these circumstances, but important spiritual growth I think!

Missing home dearly, especially my little niece, and the comfort of knowing I have somewhere to live whether the money comes in or not! I appreciate the ongoing prayer of those around me regarding my finances as things are particularly tight at the moment, although I trust God completely this can be quite daunting!! 

Really encouraged by Romans 8:37 today- 

                No! In all these things, we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 

Blessings! x

Baptism

I finally took the plunge!!

On Sunday, I was baptised in Shedd, surrounded by so many wonderful friends. Seven of my flatmates, plus my bestie, all came home with me to be at the service, and I've never felt so blessed- to be surrounded by my amazing Shedd family, and my amazing new family, all in one place!! It was a strange combination, but I feel so, so lucky.

My mum and dad made such a huge effort to make my friends welcome, and I can't thank them enough- they did so much for us! And the guys came so far just to be there for me- it's incredible. I'm all gushy just now because I feel so incredibly blessed and happy. I can't even put it into words.

I can't bear to think about these guys leaving- I want to live with them forever. They're my family. If any of you read this- Karen, Chloé, Paaaaaaige, Pete, TJ, Katie, Angela- I love you guys so much, and I'm so thankful that you shared that with me. I'll never forget it. 

A more insightful post may be forthcoming when my head is a little calmer- but for now, thank you God.

Getting Closer!!

The week is finally here- my baptism is on Sunday!! And amongst all the nerves, anticipation and organisation, it's so easy to lose focus and get caught up in details. I'm finding I need a little time to find my rest in God- not easy when I also have exams and assignments to worry about!! 

Dear God,

I pray that you bless me with calm this week. I thank you for the amazing life you have given me, and for the opportunity to stand up before your people and share what you have done for me. I pray that you would be with everyone who attends that service, keeping those I care about safe and well. 

Thank you that I have such wonderful friends willing to go so very far to support me, especially those who do not believe in the same things as I do. Thank you that they are willing to sacrifice their pride to support me. 

Thank you for the young adults who will be there supporting me also, and blessing me always with their love and friendship. Thank you that I have Linda to stand along side me as we take this step together. Be with her also this week, calming any nerves she may have. Give her the confidence to embrace this step and speak aloud of all you have done. I pray the same over myself at this time, Lord. We are nothing without you.

In Jesus Name,
Amen.

And so it begins...

The new students have began to arrive...

So far we have two boys, both from the same school in Wisconsin. One of them for sure is a Christian, which is good news for me! It's nice knowing there's someone else going about and you're not the only weirdo on the floor! (Joking, of course, but you get my drift). They both seem nice, and we also discovered there are other permanent students staying at the other side of the floor! How we managed a whole semester without knowing they were there is beyond me.

Generally, it's less lonely now that there are definitely people out there! And we managed to have a decent conversation about church and baptism and all of that kind of stuff with the girls who already live here last night which can only be a good thing.

It's funny how these things happen- I had spent the day hoping and praying for another Christian to arrive at some point, and the same day, into the kitchen walks a guy wearing a 1 million for Jesus t-shirt who wants to be a youth pastor- I don't know about you, but I don't believe in coincidence- God really does hear us when we call! 

In other news, SAAS came through today and I should get 3 weeks worth of Boots pay tomorrow, so things are looking up on the money front. The lady at residential services said just to come in with cash here and there to pay off my December rent- even if it's only £20 or whatever at a time. So that's a bonus. I really do believe that God will provide for me this year, but I need strength to keep believing it every time things go wrong. I've learned this week that provided I have food in, I don't actually need to be spending money- I haven't spent a penny since Monday, and I haven't wanted for anything. I also may be able to get work as a telephone fundraiser or student ambassador which would be perfect as it would only be during the semester, so prayers for that would be appreciated!

All in all, today is a good day. I'm off to step class with the girl across the hall now- pray I survive that and the rest of the day will be great!!

Blessings x

Last day at Home

Today is my last day at home. Lots of packing and organising to do!! But first, I have to go to Shedd for the morning service and see everyone there before I go. I'm on Sunday club too. Busy bee!!

I think today will be a good day. I have worked out that I will be able to pay my February rent, yey! Now I need to work out how to pay the December rent I'm owe, and the rest of it when it comes- but I'm sure God is dealing with it. As much as I wish someone would just come and hand me a cheque, I know I can survive if I trust God.

In other news, the goss on the new roommates is that they are all boys. I guess that makes sense since last time they were all girls but I'm not sure how I feel about it!! I guess we will have to wait and see what they are like! Praying that God has some good things lined up for me this semester. Let's face it, whoever moves in, they won't be these guys:

Blessings x

21 Years...

It is officially my 21st year of being alive. How exciting!! I have learned so much recently about the value of joy and of celebrating, that rather than make a list of rules for myself this New Year (which I will undoubtedly break very quickly!!) I am going to plan some ways in which to celebrate. When a company or group of any sort turns 21, they celebrate for the entire year- and Luke 12:27 tells me just how God views me- I am much more important to Him than any business! He cares about my heart- and He wants it to be filled with joy. So I vow to spend this year in celebration, thanking God that He gave me a life that has the potential to be full of joy and laughter. I haven't quite decided how yet- but here is how I plan, God willing, to make a start:

I will become more active in my church and CU in Stirling. I will find opportunities to serve God in my new home this year. I will do things that I enjoy!! I will pray into the things I would love to be doing for God- I think it's about time I started singing again- please God? I also plan to train for and join the Street Pastors- another way to celebrate the restorative power of my loving creator?

I will do more things that I enjoy. I rarely do anything purely for the sake of it- just for me. This year I will join societies and clubs which enjoy- it's time to get my confidence back and just give things a go. God willing, I will find things that I love, and inject a little joy back into my life.

I will stop saying no. I do not mean I will abandon all wisdom and render myself ridiculous- BUT I will try to let go of my tendency to refuse before a question is asked. I will experience more this year.

I will start y travelling fund. At 21 years old, it's time to stop saying I want to travel and start doing something about it- first stop California!! 

So, if you see me this year, and I don't seem very happy about life, remind me of this promise- I will live every day thanking God for the breath in my lungs, and start experiencing life. After all, I guess 21 is kind of...an adult?

Blessings at New Year

In our rush to encounter all of what the new year has to offer, we often forget to count our blessings. I do it all the time- so I've put together a list of all of the wonderful things that happened to me this year as a reminder to myself.

I moved to Stirling this year. I have experienced living by myself, and grown up a lot as a result. I love being self-sufficient- God has shown me that I am much more capable than I believed. He has also taught me the value of relying on Him- I do not have all the answers, and I never have any money, but by His grace I will survive.

 I joined Shedd. God led me to the most wonderful church I could imagine this year, at the time when I needed it most. I love every single one of the friends I have made there, and the old friends I have been blessed to reconnect with. Shedd is about family, and I am blessed beyond words to be a part of theirs.

I met my beautiful Americans. I have been blessed beyond words in meeting some of the most wonderful people this year- and my life is richer for it. Living with other people is challenging, but there is no one I would rather have experienced it with. I miss them every day, but I thank God that I got to spend the time I did with them, and that I may yet see America for myself!!

I spent time working out in the real world. I got to experience a little of what real adult life is like this year- and meet some fabulous people. I'm so grateful to God for the opportunity- and it helped me to see that a "normal" job will never be for me, revealing another piece of the future I'm trying to see for myself.

I was able to take a holiday with Shelley. Visiting Loch Lomond was a fantastic experience- and I found my favourite place in the world! On top of that, because God is an extravagant God, the very place I fell in love with is only half an hour from where I now live, and I can go there whenever I need to get away.

There have been many, many more blessings, large and small, in my life this year. Sometimes it feels unfair that so many of them are now past and memory- but I do well to remember that what God gives, God takes away. Life is short, and I intend to make the most of it. I believe that I will see my friends again some day, if God wills it, and maybe I will have the opportunity to see more of the world than I ever imagined. 

I leave you with one thought to cling to this New Year- Earth is and will always be the most common place of miracles.

Eleanor Elizabeth

Still feeling really close to God- which is great. I've had some really specific words over the last few days relating to names- two names in particular.

The first is Eleanor. Surprise- Eleanor means Sunlight, Ray of Sun. it also means compassion, and other, or foreign. All of these meanings speak to my heart,- Sunlight, obviously, is one that I have discussed a lot recently. Compassion is one of the character traits I am most proud of in myself, and the idea of being "other" to the world is one that should be important to all Christians.

The other word I received was this- "You are my Elizabeth." At the time I had been reading and thinking a great deal about the impact stories have on us. Jesus spoke to us mostly in story. Characters from stories often speak to us in ways that we cannot explain. For me, that character is Elizabeth Bennet. If you are an avid reader of Austen like I am, you will realise that Lizzie is the protagonist of the timeless Pride and Prejudice- my absolute favourite story of all time. 

God spoke to me through her character this week. You don't need to know her story to understand this. The things spoken over me were incredible- you chose to love in the wrong place- the enemy lied to you. It was not your fault. You are loved. You will get your happy ending- love comes from a place you do not expect. The traits that I adore in Lizzie- they can be seen in me. She is headstrong, she loves fiercely and will move mountains for those close to her. She is funny and strong and fun to be around. Can I really see all of that in who I am? It is a role which will take some growing in to!! But I am happy to be Elizabeth.

Of course, the Elizabeth in the bible is now playing on my mind too- I will let that one rest there and see what, if anything, comes of it. It turns out, embracing your glory is hard work!!