Baptism

I finally took the plunge!!

On Sunday, I was baptised in Shedd, surrounded by so many wonderful friends. Seven of my flatmates, plus my bestie, all came home with me to be at the service, and I've never felt so blessed- to be surrounded by my amazing Shedd family, and my amazing new family, all in one place!! It was a strange combination, but I feel so, so lucky.

My mum and dad made such a huge effort to make my friends welcome, and I can't thank them enough- they did so much for us! And the guys came so far just to be there for me- it's incredible. I'm all gushy just now because I feel so incredibly blessed and happy. I can't even put it into words.

I can't bear to think about these guys leaving- I want to live with them forever. They're my family. If any of you read this- Karen, Chloé, Paaaaaaige, Pete, TJ, Katie, Angela- I love you guys so much, and I'm so thankful that you shared that with me. I'll never forget it. 

A more insightful post may be forthcoming when my head is a little calmer- but for now, thank you God.

Getting Closer!!

The week is finally here- my baptism is on Sunday!! And amongst all the nerves, anticipation and organisation, it's so easy to lose focus and get caught up in details. I'm finding I need a little time to find my rest in God- not easy when I also have exams and assignments to worry about!! 

Dear God,

I pray that you bless me with calm this week. I thank you for the amazing life you have given me, and for the opportunity to stand up before your people and share what you have done for me. I pray that you would be with everyone who attends that service, keeping those I care about safe and well. 

Thank you that I have such wonderful friends willing to go so very far to support me, especially those who do not believe in the same things as I do. Thank you that they are willing to sacrifice their pride to support me. 

Thank you for the young adults who will be there supporting me also, and blessing me always with their love and friendship. Thank you that I have Linda to stand along side me as we take this step together. Be with her also this week, calming any nerves she may have. Give her the confidence to embrace this step and speak aloud of all you have done. I pray the same over myself at this time, Lord. We are nothing without you.

In Jesus Name,
Amen.

And so it begins...

The new students have began to arrive...

So far we have two boys, both from the same school in Wisconsin. One of them for sure is a Christian, which is good news for me! It's nice knowing there's someone else going about and you're not the only weirdo on the floor! (Joking, of course, but you get my drift). They both seem nice, and we also discovered there are other permanent students staying at the other side of the floor! How we managed a whole semester without knowing they were there is beyond me.

Generally, it's less lonely now that there are definitely people out there! And we managed to have a decent conversation about church and baptism and all of that kind of stuff with the girls who already live here last night which can only be a good thing.

It's funny how these things happen- I had spent the day hoping and praying for another Christian to arrive at some point, and the same day, into the kitchen walks a guy wearing a 1 million for Jesus t-shirt who wants to be a youth pastor- I don't know about you, but I don't believe in coincidence- God really does hear us when we call! 

In other news, SAAS came through today and I should get 3 weeks worth of Boots pay tomorrow, so things are looking up on the money front. The lady at residential services said just to come in with cash here and there to pay off my December rent- even if it's only £20 or whatever at a time. So that's a bonus. I really do believe that God will provide for me this year, but I need strength to keep believing it every time things go wrong. I've learned this week that provided I have food in, I don't actually need to be spending money- I haven't spent a penny since Monday, and I haven't wanted for anything. I also may be able to get work as a telephone fundraiser or student ambassador which would be perfect as it would only be during the semester, so prayers for that would be appreciated!

All in all, today is a good day. I'm off to step class with the girl across the hall now- pray I survive that and the rest of the day will be great!!

Blessings x

Not Okay

I don't know what I'm going to do.

I embarked on this adventure trusting in God to provide for me, and now everything is going wrong at every turn. I have a month's rent due from December, which I'm being chased for, and another payment due in 2 weeks which I can't pay either. That kind of money doesn't fall out of the sky. I can't even afford to get back to Stirling on Monday right now. I'm just crying all the time, I don't know how God  can pull me out of this- I have trusted Him and believed all this time that things would work out, but right now I just can't see it. I'm devastated, and scared and confused.

I know that attacks happen, especially when you've made a big decision, like a commitment to baptism, but it's hard not to feel that God is holding out on me. I know that's not true, and all I need is a little perspective, but it's hard to come by at times like this.

If someone would pay me to blog, I'd be eternally grateful...but in all seriousness, please pray. I'm finding it hard to find the words myself.

God Bless.

Exciting News

There's good news, and there's bad news. It's always better to end on a high, so firstly, I heard back from SAAS today and they are not going to reassess my loan and bursary. This means I cannot afford to pay my rent, or living costs at all for that matter, from here on in, so I am leaning on God more than ever in this department. There really is no money. It's not what I want to be thinking of or concerned with, but there it is. I'm a bit lost on how to deal with it. Please do pray if you would- it's a scary situation.

The good news, however, is very very exciting!! I had a meeting last night with Stephen, our pastor at Shedd, and set a date for my baptism- Linda and I will be baptised together on March 17th. I can't wait!! It's such a great thing to happen in my life. A chance to make a chance, to publicly renounce the way I have behaved in the past and start fresh.

There are plenty of practicalities along with baptism, not least deciding what to say when the time comes!! I guess I'll worry about that when I have my peace and quiet in my room back, and unlimited time to get it done. I also have to choose someone to be waiting with my towel when I get out. That's as hard I think. I want it to be Amy!! But she's very very far away unfortunately. Besides that, I do have some very good friends at Shedd. There are three people I'd like to ask so I just have to choose one- one is ruled out by gender, since I need someone to come into the ladies with me!!

I'll have to do lots of praying about this one I think. I can't wait!!!!