Time to get Motivated!!

Sitting down about to begin studying for my exams- they start one week on Tuesday, all prayers appreciated!!- and it's probably a good idea to get a load off first.

As always, I'm really concerned about money. I have made it this far through the semester- so nearly finished- and have just one more rent payment to go, but no earthly way of meeting it. I should get SAAS money next week so I will be able to live fairly easily, that one payment aside. I have another meeting with the discretionary fund on Monday, so appreciate all prayers that that goes well. By the grace of God I know I can make it through. I have maxed out my credit card and overdraft, so it is hard not to worry, but with deep breaths and a lot of faith I can get through!

I had the opportunity to go out to Loch Lomond with some great friends during the week to celebrate a birthday, and as always was just blown away by the majesty of the place. I find it impossible to stand there and not be in total awe. It's just so peaceful, and full of wonder. I can't even describe how blessed I am to have my favourite place so close by.

The issue of where I am going in the future has come up a great deal recently. It's something I want to take time to pray about, and hopefully receive revelation, but a big part of me is afraid of what that might be. I want to have something to aim for, and yet I know how big God's plans for me are, and at times that can make me feel very small! I will have to deal with it soon, however, as if I plan to change the Law part of my degree to, say Social Work, I  need to speak to an adviser about that as soon as possible. Another case for letting go and trusting God!! 

Choosing second year modules was a daunting task. In itself, it was really easy- I only have to take two, and those are both prescribed by my degree choice at the moment, it's all that those choices imply that freaks me out. I have finished my first year classes. My days of messing about are finished. And more than that, I have to make decisions, and say goodbyes that I really would rather not. 

This semester has been incredible. I have grown so much in God with the people around me, from the first day people started to move in- I had spent an entire day in prayer, begging God to send me someone who loved Him the way that I do to do life with this time around, just that I would not be alone. Have someone to go to church with, talk to, share with about real things. And that very evening, into the kitchen walks this guy in a "1 million for JC" top with a huge cross around his neck- now try to tell me that was a coincidence. Of course, he wasn't just some guy. Now he's one of my closest friends, and the thought of sending him off back home with all the other people I have grown to love so much is terrifying. We have become a family here. 

I know that with God's love and comfort I will be okay. I know that because I have done it before. I miss my girls every day and to tell the truth I don't want to have anyone else to miss. But I will see them all again, this is not the end, not by far. 

I feel peace today, overwhelming peace. I know that I am held in God's love, and that the beautiful people I share my life with will be with me forever. I will make new friends next year, and God has a plan and a purpose for me. In the meantime, I plan to spend as much time as possible with the people I love whilst I still have them here.

God Bless x

Brilliant

It's a beautiful day! About to go hit the gym, but before I do, I just wanted to share some of my thoughts.

It's hard when things start to come to an end, and we see this finality coming and want to avoid it. For me, the semester coming to an end marks a farewell to some of the most wonderful people I have ever met. But if we take the opportunity that is presented to us, with God we can use these times to re-evaluate and see how far we have come.

For me personally, I have come incredibly far in the past year. My life has turned 360 degrees. I am so in love with the Lord and with life, in a way I never thought I would be. This morning for the first time, I used the gift of prophecy intentionally to speak over a close friend, and was just so incredibly blessed that God used me to speak to her in that way. It is the most incredible feeling there is, just to hear God speaking over someone and feel His love for them radiate through you. Of course it's not my place to even hint at what the Lord had to say to her, but I am so incredibly blessed that God is willing to use someone as sinful as me to bring light to others. 

I'm fighting hard to be a better person, and I think that my feeling inferior to other believers is something that I can overcome with the help of the Lord. I am not a "holy" person. But the truth is, not one of us truly is and the Lord is willing to use every one of us to complete His plan and His vision.

I'm looking forward to getting more involved with the CU, and pray that even after my dear friends leave me I would not be afraid to go alone and make some new friends. God has been using the people around me to drag me kicking and screaming out of my comfort zone recently, and scary as it is at the time, long may it continue. I have experienced so much that I would never have seen sitting alone in my room. 

At the risk of rambling, I'll leave it there for today, but just know how loved you are. Life is good. God is brilliant.

Fear

Really got a lot from today's devotional's snippet on faith in the face of fear- it seems particularly relevant in the wake of the disasters in America and world wide last week. It can be so hard to admit that we feel afraid, and this is a great encouragement, pointing out to us that we do not achieve anything by denying fear, instead we must accept it and conquer it through faith in the one for whom nothing is impossible.

Personally, feeling pretty good- we had a great event on Sat evening called Encounter, for young adults, in Stirling. Really felt God moving for the first time in a long time (def the first time since the doc put me on the pills- a huge relief!), and felt really encouraged to embrace God's gifts- both spiritual and practical- stop hiding the light beneath a bushel kind of thing. 

Had some challenging words from a good friend r.e. gossiping an falseness- hard to hear the truth sometimes! But thankfully spoken in love and avoided an argument over it- hard to accept when someone is right in these circumstances, but important spiritual growth I think!

Missing home dearly, especially my little niece, and the comfort of knowing I have somewhere to live whether the money comes in or not! I appreciate the ongoing prayer of those around me regarding my finances as things are particularly tight at the moment, although I trust God completely this can be quite daunting!! 

Really encouraged by Romans 8:37 today- 

                No! In all these things, we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 

Blessings! x

Disconnected

I'm having a horrible day. 

I have an essay write- which is fine, I'm at uni, I need to do work some time!- but also I'm having massive money issues and it's super hard to concentrate. The job I thought was in the bag, in God's plan, for next year, is gone-  I didn't get it. My money has run out again. I have no idea how I'm going to pay the rest of my rent, and it's really hard to trust God when I can't see a clear way out- and the way out I could see is gone. The one person I want to see, who I know would pray with me, is not here and I just want to scream. 

God, I need you. I need you to connect with me, show yourself to me, because I can't do this alone.

Baptism

I finally took the plunge!!

On Sunday, I was baptised in Shedd, surrounded by so many wonderful friends. Seven of my flatmates, plus my bestie, all came home with me to be at the service, and I've never felt so blessed- to be surrounded by my amazing Shedd family, and my amazing new family, all in one place!! It was a strange combination, but I feel so, so lucky.

My mum and dad made such a huge effort to make my friends welcome, and I can't thank them enough- they did so much for us! And the guys came so far just to be there for me- it's incredible. I'm all gushy just now because I feel so incredibly blessed and happy. I can't even put it into words.

I can't bear to think about these guys leaving- I want to live with them forever. They're my family. If any of you read this- Karen, Chloé, Paaaaaaige, Pete, TJ, Katie, Angela- I love you guys so much, and I'm so thankful that you shared that with me. I'll never forget it. 

A more insightful post may be forthcoming when my head is a little calmer- but for now, thank you God.

Introductions

I haven't yet shared how blessed I have been this semester with wonderful new friends. The people I now live with are amazing. Of course I miss my girls- don't get mad at me!!- but the new bunch are equally fantastic.

Left to right, this is Paige, me, Pete and Chloé on the shore of Loch Lomond. We all went up there for a day out at the weekend. Paige is an American- from Arizona,  to be precise. She is hilarious, adorable, and I'm sure she won't mind me saying, a total nerd. Pete, in the middle, is from Maine and is the tallest man in the known universe (in my opinion). My niece is terrified of him. He puts up with a whole lot of stick from us- ALL the time. We steal his stuff, make fun of everything he says, and just generally annoy him all the time. Maybe a more accurate descriptor would be the most patient man in the known universe. Then there's Chloé on the right- she's from Tulle, in France. She has an incredible sense of humour and has taught us a lot of rather inappropriate expressions in French!! She's very French, and we take the mick out of her for it constantly. She is planning to stay here in the UK if it's at all possible. 

The only one not in this picture is Karen, from Kerry in the Republic of Ireland.  

Karen and I have a...special kind of friendship, which consists of fannying about the place constantly and rarely doing anything productive at all. We have a lot in common, ad clicked pretty much straight away. 

All in all, I'm so very blessed this semester- we have quite the little family!! We rarely get anything done, but we sure have a lot of fun in the process. I'm so grateful to God for having given them to me, even if only for a short while- but let's not think about that yet!! 

So now, hopefully you'll know who I'm talking about next time I start rambling!

Getting Closer!!

The week is finally here- my baptism is on Sunday!! And amongst all the nerves, anticipation and organisation, it's so easy to lose focus and get caught up in details. I'm finding I need a little time to find my rest in God- not easy when I also have exams and assignments to worry about!! 

Dear God,

I pray that you bless me with calm this week. I thank you for the amazing life you have given me, and for the opportunity to stand up before your people and share what you have done for me. I pray that you would be with everyone who attends that service, keeping those I care about safe and well. 

Thank you that I have such wonderful friends willing to go so very far to support me, especially those who do not believe in the same things as I do. Thank you that they are willing to sacrifice their pride to support me. 

Thank you for the young adults who will be there supporting me also, and blessing me always with their love and friendship. Thank you that I have Linda to stand along side me as we take this step together. Be with her also this week, calming any nerves she may have. Give her the confidence to embrace this step and speak aloud of all you have done. I pray the same over myself at this time, Lord. We are nothing without you.

In Jesus Name,
Amen.