As always, I'm really concerned about money. I have made it this far through the semester- so nearly finished- and have just one more rent payment to go, but no earthly way of meeting it. I should get SAAS money next week so I will be able to live fairly easily, that one payment aside. I have another meeting with the discretionary fund on Monday, so appreciate all prayers that that goes well. By the grace of God I know I can make it through. I have maxed out my credit card and overdraft, so it is hard not to worry, but with deep breaths and a lot of faith I can get through!
I had the opportunity to go out to Loch Lomond with some great friends during the week to celebrate a birthday, and as always was just blown away by the majesty of the place. I find it impossible to stand there and not be in total awe. It's just so peaceful, and full of wonder. I can't even describe how blessed I am to have my favourite place so close by.
The issue of where I am going in the future has come up a great deal recently. It's something I want to take time to pray about, and hopefully receive revelation, but a big part of me is afraid of what that might be. I want to have something to aim for, and yet I know how big God's plans for me are, and at times that can make me feel very small! I will have to deal with it soon, however, as if I plan to change the Law part of my degree to, say Social Work, I need to speak to an adviser about that as soon as possible. Another case for letting go and trusting God!!
Choosing second year modules was a daunting task. In itself, it was really easy- I only have to take two, and those are both prescribed by my degree choice at the moment, it's all that those choices imply that freaks me out. I have finished my first year classes. My days of messing about are finished. And more than that, I have to make decisions, and say goodbyes that I really would rather not.
This semester has been incredible. I have grown so much in God with the people around me, from the first day people started to move in- I had spent an entire day in prayer, begging God to send me someone who loved Him the way that I do to do life with this time around, just that I would not be alone. Have someone to go to church with, talk to, share with about real things. And that very evening, into the kitchen walks this guy in a "1 million for JC" top with a huge cross around his neck- now try to tell me that was a coincidence. Of course, he wasn't just some guy. Now he's one of my closest friends, and the thought of sending him off back home with all the other people I have grown to love so much is terrifying. We have become a family here.
I know that with God's love and comfort I will be okay. I know that because I have done it before. I miss my girls every day and to tell the truth I don't want to have anyone else to miss. But I will see them all again, this is not the end, not by far.
I feel peace today, overwhelming peace. I know that I am held in God's love, and that the beautiful people I share my life with will be with me forever. I will make new friends next year, and God has a plan and a purpose for me. In the meantime, I plan to spend as much time as possible with the people I love whilst I still have them here.
God Bless x
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