- For my flatmate Evie, that her health would continue to improve and that she would make it through her exams with minimum levels of stress
- A huge thanks for all of the wonderful people I have met this year and a prayer that I could really make the most of the time we have left together.
- For my mum, that she will cope without me for a little longer ;) and also that she would be able to understand my reluctance to come home this semester.
- For the rest of my exams- peace, focus, concentration- and the ability to stay awake for full days at a time!
- For health and peace for me and all of my flatmates.
- For the process of leaving- so much to do and so little time to do it/so little willingness to try!
- Financially- last rent payment due date has been and gone, still holding out for help from the discretionary fund!
- For a summer job
- Gratitude for the help I have received which has allowed me to make it this far financially.
- Gratitude for the people at home caring about me and supporting me all the time (as well as one very special support in California who knows who she is!!)
Tuesday, 14 May 2013
Prayer Points
Everything is fairly disorganised in my mind at the moment, but here is my list of prayers- either thanks, or requests- God wants to hear all of it I suppose!
One Down!
Well one exam is over!! That was stressful- but thank goodness it's done! I know that with God's help I can get through the next two.
The tricky part is all the catching up I need to do to prepare- the ups and downs of the semester have meant I have missed a whole lot of class. It's taking a lot of concentration to get through- and that's not something I have a great deal of at the moment! It seems so silly that it would be so hard, as academic stuff is the bit I've always been good at, but when it's a fight to stay awake for the day it becomes more of a challenge!
That and of course, the "essential" work being carried out on the windows which involves a huge crane bleeping constantly (a "safety feature" apparently) just outside. I don't think they quite understand how challenging exam time is for some of us over at residential services! However, I have sent them an email and hopefully there is something they can do. In the meantime, I need to take five to do my devotional and zone out of all the study stress!!
...
Well, today's reading is on accepting our weaknesses- that's a tricky one! Do we want to do something to impress others, or to glorify God? It's easy to convince ourselves that through the act of impressing others, we can glorify God- I'm not saying that's not the case, but God does not require us to build and maintain a reputation for Him. What he requires of us is to abandon our own. I think all of us come to a stage, at some point or another, where we need to make that choice- do we care more what God wants for us, or what people think of us?
That was certainly the case for me when it came to leaving my first university course- I didn't want to be the girl who dropped out, who gave up, in other people's eyes. It took me a long time to accept that no matter what anyone else thought, God had a plan for me, and it was to end up where I am now. I could not be more thankful for that.
The tricky part is all the catching up I need to do to prepare- the ups and downs of the semester have meant I have missed a whole lot of class. It's taking a lot of concentration to get through- and that's not something I have a great deal of at the moment! It seems so silly that it would be so hard, as academic stuff is the bit I've always been good at, but when it's a fight to stay awake for the day it becomes more of a challenge!
That and of course, the "essential" work being carried out on the windows which involves a huge crane bleeping constantly (a "safety feature" apparently) just outside. I don't think they quite understand how challenging exam time is for some of us over at residential services! However, I have sent them an email and hopefully there is something they can do. In the meantime, I need to take five to do my devotional and zone out of all the study stress!!
...
Well, today's reading is on accepting our weaknesses- that's a tricky one! Do we want to do something to impress others, or to glorify God? It's easy to convince ourselves that through the act of impressing others, we can glorify God- I'm not saying that's not the case, but God does not require us to build and maintain a reputation for Him. What he requires of us is to abandon our own. I think all of us come to a stage, at some point or another, where we need to make that choice- do we care more what God wants for us, or what people think of us?
That was certainly the case for me when it came to leaving my first university course- I didn't want to be the girl who dropped out, who gave up, in other people's eyes. It took me a long time to accept that no matter what anyone else thought, God had a plan for me, and it was to end up where I am now. I could not be more thankful for that.
Monday, 6 May 2013
Training
Today's devotional is all about allowing ourselves to be trained. It's all too easy to get caught up in the notion that we are under qualified for what God has called us to do, or to get so caught up in it that we rush ahead without taking the time to learn. It's so important to trust in the calling God has placed on our lives, and allow Him to bring it to fruition in His perfect timing.
This is so relevant as I seek to work out where I could be headed, and which path will lead me there. There are so many concerns about being employable, having other options to fall back on...the world is tough, and finding work is hard. It's good to take a step back and remember that it's all under control.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to bring about hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11
This is so relevant as I seek to work out where I could be headed, and which path will lead me there. There are so many concerns about being employable, having other options to fall back on...the world is tough, and finding work is hard. It's good to take a step back and remember that it's all under control.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to bring about hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11
Sunday, 5 May 2013
God Provides
I was under the distinct impression that my ability to spend time with God would be dramatically reduced during exam time- it seems I am wrong, and as usual He is as keen to speak to me as ever, provided I make the time to listen.
Having just sent a long and detailed email to financial services explaining to them why I felt I was deserving of more financial help, I thought it would be productive to spend some time in prayer- as always, begging God to help me out because I was panicking. I opened my devotional to today's date in search of some inspiration, and the title which greeted me was this:
Having just sent a long and detailed email to financial services explaining to them why I felt I was deserving of more financial help, I thought it would be productive to spend some time in prayer- as always, begging God to help me out because I was panicking. I opened my devotional to today's date in search of some inspiration, and the title which greeted me was this:
God Always Provides
Could there be a clearer sign than that? The passage that followed was an explanation of how Joyce Meyer had been called to give up her job to study the word for a time before she began her ministry, and how for her this was a time when she was to learn to trust God. She is utterly reliant on Him for everything in her current ministry, and would never have been able to take that step if not for the time of dependence beforehand. She learned to trust.
It's reassuring, is it not, that when we go through times that feel dark, when we struggle and suffer, there is a light coming? The knowledge that is is for something means everything. I am learning, I am growing, and God has big plans for me. What a revalation!
Saturday, 4 May 2013
On the Internet
The internet is a fantastic tool. It's allowing me to share my life and thoughts with you and all the people that I love this very second. What makes it so brilliant is that it allows us to connect with each other, to share knowledge, wisdom, stories and jokes across the entire planet.
But there's always a down side isn't there? For me, the amount of time I spend on the internet does actually disrupt my everyday life. I read somewhere recently that spending over 6 hours in a day online doing nothing that is essentially productive is classified as an internet addiction. My first thought was "6 hours! That's absurd, who could spend that much time online?"
Then I thought about it. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is no longer to acknowledge God and ask for His blessing over my day. It is to check my facebook notifications, tumblr notes and emails. The evenings I started the semester sharing with my flatmates have become filled with pointless internet activity. And if I have no plans for the afternoon, guess what I'll be doing? Watching online re-runs of my favourite shows. Now, whether or not getting up to date with this series of Supernatural is productive is up for debate. The issue at point here is our priorities- what matters most to me?
I would never consider deleting my facebook, for example, and my reasons are simple- I use it daily to contact people I love who live very far away. But what about when I use it to tell my flatmate something instead of getting up and going to her room? It may save time, but it also means we miss out on all the extra conversation that goes on face to face- just doing life together, sharing our day.
I'm not saying for a second that I, or anyone else, should give up the wonderful resource that is the internet- nor should we give up our down time, and if you happen to enjoy using that time to connect with people and information online, so be it. What I'm suggesting is that we re-evaluate exactly what we do online, and why we do it. I switched my PC off, rather than putting it on standby, for the first time since I moved back to Stirling last night, and read a book instead. And I slept like a baby. I used my extra time to pray and meditate on where I'm going, and it made it much easier to focus on study today.
I think, for me at least, it's time to focus more on what God would have me do with my time, and less on Tumblr fandoms.
But there's always a down side isn't there? For me, the amount of time I spend on the internet does actually disrupt my everyday life. I read somewhere recently that spending over 6 hours in a day online doing nothing that is essentially productive is classified as an internet addiction. My first thought was "6 hours! That's absurd, who could spend that much time online?"
Then I thought about it. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is no longer to acknowledge God and ask for His blessing over my day. It is to check my facebook notifications, tumblr notes and emails. The evenings I started the semester sharing with my flatmates have become filled with pointless internet activity. And if I have no plans for the afternoon, guess what I'll be doing? Watching online re-runs of my favourite shows. Now, whether or not getting up to date with this series of Supernatural is productive is up for debate. The issue at point here is our priorities- what matters most to me?
I would never consider deleting my facebook, for example, and my reasons are simple- I use it daily to contact people I love who live very far away. But what about when I use it to tell my flatmate something instead of getting up and going to her room? It may save time, but it also means we miss out on all the extra conversation that goes on face to face- just doing life together, sharing our day.
I'm not saying for a second that I, or anyone else, should give up the wonderful resource that is the internet- nor should we give up our down time, and if you happen to enjoy using that time to connect with people and information online, so be it. What I'm suggesting is that we re-evaluate exactly what we do online, and why we do it. I switched my PC off, rather than putting it on standby, for the first time since I moved back to Stirling last night, and read a book instead. And I slept like a baby. I used my extra time to pray and meditate on where I'm going, and it made it much easier to focus on study today.
I think, for me at least, it's time to focus more on what God would have me do with my time, and less on Tumblr fandoms.
Friday, 3 May 2013
Time to get Motivated!!
Sitting down about to begin studying for my exams- they start one week on Tuesday, all prayers appreciated!!- and it's probably a good idea to get a load off first.
As always, I'm really concerned about money. I have made it this far through the semester- so nearly finished- and have just one more rent payment to go, but no earthly way of meeting it. I should get SAAS money next week so I will be able to live fairly easily, that one payment aside. I have another meeting with the discretionary fund on Monday, so appreciate all prayers that that goes well. By the grace of God I know I can make it through. I have maxed out my credit card and overdraft, so it is hard not to worry, but with deep breaths and a lot of faith I can get through!
I had the opportunity to go out to Loch Lomond with some great friends during the week to celebrate a birthday, and as always was just blown away by the majesty of the place. I find it impossible to stand there and not be in total awe. It's just so peaceful, and full of wonder. I can't even describe how blessed I am to have my favourite place so close by.
The issue of where I am going in the future has come up a great deal recently. It's something I want to take time to pray about, and hopefully receive revelation, but a big part of me is afraid of what that might be. I want to have something to aim for, and yet I know how big God's plans for me are, and at times that can make me feel very small! I will have to deal with it soon, however, as if I plan to change the Law part of my degree to, say Social Work, I need to speak to an adviser about that as soon as possible. Another case for letting go and trusting God!!
Choosing second year modules was a daunting task. In itself, it was really easy- I only have to take two, and those are both prescribed by my degree choice at the moment, it's all that those choices imply that freaks me out. I have finished my first year classes. My days of messing about are finished. And more than that, I have to make decisions, and say goodbyes that I really would rather not.
This semester has been incredible. I have grown so much in God with the people around me, from the first day people started to move in- I had spent an entire day in prayer, begging God to send me someone who loved Him the way that I do to do life with this time around, just that I would not be alone. Have someone to go to church with, talk to, share with about real things. And that very evening, into the kitchen walks this guy in a "1 million for JC" top with a huge cross around his neck- now try to tell me that was a coincidence. Of course, he wasn't just some guy. Now he's one of my closest friends, and the thought of sending him off back home with all the other people I have grown to love so much is terrifying. We have become a family here.
I know that with God's love and comfort I will be okay. I know that because I have done it before. I miss my girls every day and to tell the truth I don't want to have anyone else to miss. But I will see them all again, this is not the end, not by far.
I feel peace today, overwhelming peace. I know that I am held in God's love, and that the beautiful people I share my life with will be with me forever. I will make new friends next year, and God has a plan and a purpose for me. In the meantime, I plan to spend as much time as possible with the people I love whilst I still have them here.
God Bless x
As always, I'm really concerned about money. I have made it this far through the semester- so nearly finished- and have just one more rent payment to go, but no earthly way of meeting it. I should get SAAS money next week so I will be able to live fairly easily, that one payment aside. I have another meeting with the discretionary fund on Monday, so appreciate all prayers that that goes well. By the grace of God I know I can make it through. I have maxed out my credit card and overdraft, so it is hard not to worry, but with deep breaths and a lot of faith I can get through!
I had the opportunity to go out to Loch Lomond with some great friends during the week to celebrate a birthday, and as always was just blown away by the majesty of the place. I find it impossible to stand there and not be in total awe. It's just so peaceful, and full of wonder. I can't even describe how blessed I am to have my favourite place so close by.
The issue of where I am going in the future has come up a great deal recently. It's something I want to take time to pray about, and hopefully receive revelation, but a big part of me is afraid of what that might be. I want to have something to aim for, and yet I know how big God's plans for me are, and at times that can make me feel very small! I will have to deal with it soon, however, as if I plan to change the Law part of my degree to, say Social Work, I need to speak to an adviser about that as soon as possible. Another case for letting go and trusting God!!
Choosing second year modules was a daunting task. In itself, it was really easy- I only have to take two, and those are both prescribed by my degree choice at the moment, it's all that those choices imply that freaks me out. I have finished my first year classes. My days of messing about are finished. And more than that, I have to make decisions, and say goodbyes that I really would rather not.
This semester has been incredible. I have grown so much in God with the people around me, from the first day people started to move in- I had spent an entire day in prayer, begging God to send me someone who loved Him the way that I do to do life with this time around, just that I would not be alone. Have someone to go to church with, talk to, share with about real things. And that very evening, into the kitchen walks this guy in a "1 million for JC" top with a huge cross around his neck- now try to tell me that was a coincidence. Of course, he wasn't just some guy. Now he's one of my closest friends, and the thought of sending him off back home with all the other people I have grown to love so much is terrifying. We have become a family here.
I know that with God's love and comfort I will be okay. I know that because I have done it before. I miss my girls every day and to tell the truth I don't want to have anyone else to miss. But I will see them all again, this is not the end, not by far.
I feel peace today, overwhelming peace. I know that I am held in God's love, and that the beautiful people I share my life with will be with me forever. I will make new friends next year, and God has a plan and a purpose for me. In the meantime, I plan to spend as much time as possible with the people I love whilst I still have them here.
God Bless x
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